The shoe I never thought I needed

gizelle

This is the story about a pair of shoes I couldn’t afford to buy. They just so happened to catch my eye on a cold rainy Saturday right after payday, a time when every man and his dog feels like a king for a weekend, so I yolo’d and bought them.

They’re the Adidas Gazelle platform sneakers in grey. Lovely, right? But after I got them, and subsequently as soon as I arrived home, I questioned my decision to buy them several times over. I’ve never been one to irresponsibly spend my money, especially at a time when I didn’t know how much I could actually afford to spend. But for the next 3 weeks I quivered and hunched in fear that if i dare wear those shoes i might end up a broke bitch come the end of the month. So the beautiful blue Adidas shoebox sat aside my bed for ages. And each day i opened it up to look at the shoes like I had found gold in a treasure box and I was hiding it from the rest of the world.

A week or so later, while having lunch with my creative director, I decided to confide in him my irrational decision to buy said sneakers. It all came out in one long breath, “I couldn’t actually stop myself It was like an adrenaline rush like leaping off a cliff into the ocean I know ill survive but it wasn’t necessarily a thought-through decision and it’s eating me up inside (deep breath) now I can’t even bring myself to wear them in case I have to return them later this month!” I was all messed up over a pair of expensive sneakers.

But then I got dished the good stuff. Ah-Ha! It was so simple, I don’t know why I never saw it before. In response, my creative director said to me, “Wear the shoes. More money will come.” And he was so right! This isn’t to say that I condone impulsive shopping or, *shudder*, mindless consumerism. But sometimes it’s these kind of splurges that make you feel powerful and in control of your life, especially when you’re working hard to earn your money. Treat Yo Self, you know what I mean! There’s definitely some form of liberation that happens when you buy something you thought you would never be able to afford on your own.

So getting those shoes taught me that my weird spending habits aren’t bad ones, it’s good to question your preference (Do I actually need/like/want this?) and not to fill your wardrobe with things you might only wear a couple of times for a season and forget about it the next. Most of all though I learnt that ‘more money will come’. And so what if I was eating bulk pasta for a few weeks in order to make it through the month. I finally wore my beloved sneakers and to be honest, it felt good. They were one of the best things I’ve ever bought because of the circumstances.

So that’s that — things I learned from a pair of shoes I never thought I needed. I’ll leave you with the wise words of Queen B, “I’m a grown woman, I can do whatever I want“, because it’s true.

– Ashleigh

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